Way back near the beginning of pandemic, I had a real-life “Good Luck to You, Leo Grande” experience.
If you’re not familiar with the movie (now streaming on Hulu), a retired widow (Emma Thompson) hires a fine-ass sex worker (Daryl McCormack) to find some sexual adventure. (Spoiler: Adventure is found.)
In my case, there was no green-eyed Leo Grande. However, I did have two (2!) people working over my middle-aged body. Also, they weren’t official “sex workers,” though it did involve both sex and work.
I was getting a “hands-on bodywork session,” basically a massage with a (possibly) happy ending. Oh, it was all on the up and up. It was through an organization, let’s call it Yonis R Us (YRU), that hosts retreats in glamorous locales where women of all ages (seriously, ALL, like up to extremely senior citizen) learn to connect with their bodies, their sexuality and their desires.
And yeah, a happy ending might be had, but the bodywork sessions were about more than that. It was about allowing yourself to accept pleasure and feel sexual without any of the body image/performative/goal-oriented pressures of a lot of hetero sex.
Getting rid of that last bit was going to be a trick for me. I enjoy spending my leisure time worrying about things like that new spot on my leg (fatal????), people who don’t text back immediately (dead???) and the like. My monkey mind doesn’t just chatter away during my rare attempts at meditation ― mine is more howler monkey, always on duty, hyper-vigilant and screeching from the treetops, alerting me to a constant stream of imaginary peril.
To be honest, I was secretly looking for a Magic Vagina Whisperer, someone who would force me to chill the F out, know what I wanted even before I knew it, and could play my body like a piano, or whatever musical instrument is the equivalent of my body (Bagpipes? Theremin?).
When Nanette*, the founder of Yonis, messaged me one day and offered me a private session that night, gratis, I was immediately like, “Yes, please!” It was to date, the best media perk I’ve gotten, and I am a person who recently received a huge box of weed products hand-delivered to my door.
About four seconds later, I panicked. The letting-strangers-touch-alllllll-the-naughty-bits wasn’t the issue. I’ve interviewed several sex workers and came away convinced that sex work is an important helping position. Providing loving sexual touch to people who aren’t getting it, for whatever reason,…
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