This Science-Backed Trick Could Help Cheaters Avoid Cheating

Statistics on how common infidelity is can vary wildly from study to study, which makes sense. Not everyone feels comfortable talking candidly about their sex lives or relationship missteps, and honesty isn’t really a cheater’s forte.

One recent YouGov poll found that one-third of Americans said they’d cheated, either physically, emotionally or both. When asked about their experiences being cheated on, 54% of those who have ever been in a monogamous relationship say they’d had a partner who strayed.

A new study published in the Journal of Sex Research isn’t looking at how common cheating is, but rather, how to prevent it: To avoid cheating, the researchers found your best bet is to try a little perspective-taking ― aka, try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes.

“Our findings offer a way people can withstand short-term temptations: Stop and consider how romantic partners may be affected by your desire to pursue an alternative partner,” said Gurit E. Birnbaum, a professor of psychology at Reichman University in Israel and the co-author of the paper.

Perspective-taking simultaneously decreases sexual and romantic interest in alternative mates. (Consider it the opposite of beer goggles.)

“In these situations, perspective-taking may foster empathy for the partner’s potential suffering,” Birnbaum told HuffPost.

“When such situations involve a conflict between the allure of alternative partners and the goal of maintaining the current relationship, perspective-taking may tip the scale in favor of long-term considerations over short-term pleasures,” the professor explained.

So how did the researchers discover this little cheating-evading life hack?

Across three studies, 408 participants (213 Israeli women and 195 Israeli men, ages 20 to 47) were randomly assigned to either adopt the point of view of their partner or to not adopt it. (The participants were all in monogamous, mixed-sex relationships of at least four months.)

As part of the experiments, the participants evaluated, encountered or thought about attractive strangers while the psychologists recorded both their expressions of interest in these strangers and their commitment to and desire for their current partners.

The researchers found that adopting a partner’s perspective boosted commitment and desire for the partner.

Past studies have shown…