Awkward conversations are rife during holiday parties, especially at Friendsgivings that include friends of friends or at holiday dinners with family you haven’t seen in years.
“It takes a lot of thought and effort to be a good conversationalist,” said Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert, author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life” and founder of the Protocol School of Texas.
“We learn at holiday parties that building relationships and strong communication skills must be honed and practiced,” she told HuffPost.
Ideally, to be prepared, you go in armed with a smattering of conversation starters: “How do you know the host?” “Stream any good TV shows lately?” “Let’s settle this: Is a hot dog a sandwich?”
But that’s factoring in only your side of the conversation. What do you do if someone asks you a prying personal question at Christmas dinner (“So when are you two going to get married?”) or they bring up a polarizing topic you’d rather not debate over Little Smokies (“Do you believe a two-state solution is possible?” they say, mid-bite)?
For occasions like this, you need to master the swivel, a technique that experts say can help you avoid almost any incoming awkward conversation.
In 2019, HuffPost senior reporter Monica Torres wrote about how to “swivel” and change the subject during overly personal conversations at work:
“The formula for the swivel is elastic. You acknowledge what the person is saying, showing appreciation and empathy, and then use ‘and’ statements, or ‘while’ statements, or an implied ‘and,’ and then a new topic,” said Rebecca Nellis, the executive director at the Cancer and Careers National Conference.
The same swiveling technique can be employed during dicey holiday banter, said Jeanne Martinet, the author of “The Art of Mingling,” though she calls it “sidestepping.” (Other etiquette and communication experts prefer pivoting or bridging.)
“For example, if you have been out of work for a long time and your uncle asks you how your job search is going when you really don’t want to talk about it, you can say, ‘It’s coming along. But right now I am searching for some of those delicious-looking crab puffs I saw going by on a tray a minute ago! Have you had any?’”
To really reinforce your swivel, Martinet said you might follow quickly with, “What’s your favorite holiday food?”
If someone starts going on about a COVID vaccine conspiracy you’d rather…
Click Here to Read the Full Original Article at Women…