SAN FRANCISCO — They know chronic back pain from couch surfing while pregnant. They tuck their children in at bedtime in the backs of cars and under bridges. Once their kids are asleep, and only then, do they let themselves cry.
Since January, a group of eight San Francisco mothers have met regularly as part of a local nonprofit’s pilot program to share their stories and learn to advocate for the needs of families like theirs experiencing homelessness.
“I feel like I failed my kids,” says Teniah Tercero, breaking into tears as she talked about how she hates exposing her three young daughters to the open drug use of the city’s gritty Tenderloin neighborhood where they sleep at a shelter.
The room falls quiet. Christiana Porter, a fellow mom, gently pats Tercero’s shoulder as someone else passes over a box of tissues.
“I know the feeling,” adds Danica Gutierrez, also a mother of three girls.
Gutierrez, 29, was skeptical about relaying some of the hardest moments of her life with people who were strangers.
“Then after being in the group, I started realizing that all these ladies have a strong voice,” she said, “and maybe our voices put together could be strong enough to make a difference in someone else’s life.”
The women are on the Family Advisory Committee, a program launched by San Francisco nonprofit Compass Family Services this year to empower homeless people to better serve their needs.
They have learned how the city’s budget process works and met with politicians, sharing personal experiences and insight into what the city’s Department of Homelessness and Supportive Housing and nonprofits should be providing.
Broadly, the women describe a homeless services system that is confusing and even hostile, with websites that lack clear information and staff who can feel dismissive.
They want housing for families away from people struggling with drug addiction or behavior issues, and staff trained to welcome homeless families. More money, they say, should be spent on housing rather than short-term shelters.
They also want families to be given clear instructions about which phone numbers to call and when to maintain their place in line for housing. They want caseworkers to return their calls, even if there’s no new information to report. They suggest nonprofits stock practical goods such as rain covers for baby strollers and children’s clothing for special occasions, like graduation.
In telling their stories to help others, the women…
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