Nearly 1-in-3 Americans Getting a ‘Sleep Divorce’

Do you share a bed with your partner? Increasingly, Americans are saying no.

A new survey conducted by Seema Khosla and colleagues at the American Academy of Sleep Medicine has found that 29 percent of Americans—or nearly one in three—choose to sleep in a separate bed to their partner because of differences in sleep habits, a concept many have described as a “sleep divorce.”

“The term might sound alarming, but it’s not about ending a relationship,” Khosla, a spokesperson for the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, said in a statement. “It’s about prioritizing sleep health and addressing the sleep issues that may be eroding a relationship, such as snoring, tossing and turning, or differing sleep schedules. A sleep divorce is not a sign of a relationship in trouble—it allows for honest conversation about disruptive habits and allows each person to enjoy uninterrupted, restorative sleep.”

Sharing a bed with your partner can offer a sense of security and comfort. However, for those of us with bed partners who snore, fidget and steal the sheets, sleeping in the same bed can lead to bad sleep, irritability and resentment.

Getting enough sleep is essential for our physical and mental well-being. It helps us consolidate our memories and aids physical recovery. Not getting enough has been shown to contribute to heart disease, obesity, neurodegenerative disorders and depression.

“We know that getting a good night’s sleep is important for both health and happiness,” Khosla said. “So, if you’re continually sacrificing sleep quality and quantity—due to your partner’s persistent snoring, for example—then it may be time to discuss your sleeping arrangements.”

A sleep divorce might improve the quality of your relationship. Numerous studies have shown that sleep deprivation takes a toll on our ability to control our emotions, attention spans and judgment, which could potentially impact your relationship in the long run. Finding a sleep arrangement that works for both parties may actually help reduce conflict and resentment.

If you do still prefer to share a bed with your partner, Michael Breus, founder of the Sleep Doctor website, has some simple advice if your quality of sleep is being affected:

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