Are You ‘Masking’ In Social Settings?

Are you “masking” when you’re at a bar with your coworkers? Or how about at a family reunion with your distant relatives?

Masking refers to hiding or suppressing certain thoughts, feelings or behaviors to fit into different situations, according to Tiffany Hodges, a licensed clinical psychologist and chief science officer of ABA Centers. Oftentimes, this happens with individuals who are on the autism spectrum or who are neurodivergent, but truly, anyone can mask in social settings.

“Sometimes this comes from wanting to fit in, to not be judged by others, or because a past experience didn’t go well,” Hodges said. “The usual goal of masking is acceptance, but it can be difficult to tell if someone is masking since the whole goal is to ‘appear normal.’”

For example, individuals who want to look “normal” and camouflage behaviors like not making eye contact or hyperfixating on certain topics in a conversation. “A person might hide those behaviors and use a behavior more consistent with traditional social norms,” Hodges said.

“Many people mask without even realizing it, and this often starts in childhood, when kids learn to follow ‘social rules’ like making eye contact or sitting still, even if it feels uncomfortable,” said Alisha Simpson-Watt, a licensed clinical social worker and founder of Collaborative ABA Services, LLC. “Over time, masking becomes such a habit that it just feels like ‘the way things are.’”

Ahead, we spoke with clinical psychologists and mental health professionals about the signs you might be masking without even knowing and what you can do about it if it becomes bothersome or impacts your quality of life.

People who mask often feel like they are putting on a show every time they are around people they don’t know intimately or with whom they are not comfortable.

“They feel like interacting is performing because they have to act as the person that they’re supposed to be rather than the person who they actually are,” said Karim J. Torres Sanchez, a licensed clinical psychologist with LBee Health.

For example, you might find yourself putting up a front while you’re making small talk with a barista or a grocery store cashier. Perhaps you find yourself actively forcing yourself to make eye contact because that’s what…