Opinion: As a man of 50, I’m about to buy a doll for myself. I can’t wait

Editor’s Note: Issac Bailey is a longtime journalist based in South Carolina who writes for McClatchy. He will be a Professor of Practice at Davidson College in the fall after serving as a visiting professor at Columbia University’s school of journalism this spring. He’s the author of “My Brother Moochie: Regaining Dignity in the Face of Crime, Poverty and Racism in the American South.” His latest book is “Why Didn’t We Riot? A Black Man in Trumpland.” The views expressed in this commentary are his own. View more opinion on CNN.

CNN
 — 

I’m a 50-year-old Black man, and I’m about to buy a toy doll – for myself. It won’t be for my college freshman daughter, who outgrew dolls long ago. I’m not buying it for the beautiful little Black girls at the Boys & Girls Club in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, where my wife is CEO or those at the non-profit literacy program, Freedom Readers, she founded 13 years ago, though maybe I’ll later buy them some, too.

The first one I’m buying will be mine, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

For maybe millions of little girls, Black girls and others, the “Ariel” doll – unveiled this week by Disney and based on the signature character of the much-anticipated live-action film version of “The Little Mermaid” coming in May – means joyous representation. For me, it represents the culmination of an American story that hasn’t fully been told.

Halle Bailey, the inspiration behind the doll and the star of the Disney live action remake of a classic, is my niece, the daughter of my second-oldest brother Doug and my sister-in-law Courtney. I take no credit for her success. I can’t sing. You really don’t want to hear me sing. Nor can I act.

As I like to tell people, I have her on slow rather than fast dial through my brother and sister-in-law. The last time I saw her was at my mother’s funeral more than a year ago. Not too long before that, we enjoyed a cookout at my mother-in-law’s after hitting the beach near my house. I’m the uncle standing in the background beaming, ready to step in only when necessary.

But I’ve often been reluctant to make that joy public, in part because I didn’t want the imperfections of our family to in anyway…