Eurovision 2023: Every song ranked, from Albania to the UK

The countdown has begun. This Friday marks 40 days until Eurovision week kicks off with a “turquoise carpet” opening ceremony in Liverpool.

All 37 songs have now been submitted, with lyrics addressing everything from demonic possession to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.

As always, the quality’s about as consistent as a vat of jelly, but there are some gems amongst the inevitable onslaught of power ballads.

What follows is a highly subjective attempt to rank them all. You’ll undoubtedly disagree, and I’ve inevitably snubbed someone’s favourite. But that’s the beauty of Eurovision: Everyone gets a say, and my opinion is no more important than anyone else’s. (Also, I have a terrible track record in predicting the winner, so there’s that.)

With that in mind, let’s have some fun. You can listen along with an alphabetically-sorted playlist on Spotify, on Apple Music or on YouTube.

In a quirk of typographical synchronicity, Albina is Albania’s representative for 2023.

A former runner-up on The Voice, she’s performing Duje, a dramatic ballad about families being separated, and the impact that has on children. The performance typically ends with Albina collapsing to her knees in tears.

Albina’s impassioned verses build to an appealing chorus, featuring background vocals from her family – but overall, it’s pretty heavy-going.

Prediction: Bottom half of the leaderboard

“I just wanna make art, read books and just find someone who likes me enough to kiss my face.”

Brunette is the stage name of 21-year-old Elen Yeremyan, whose got a huge following in Armenia. She wrote this yearning ballad, about a lover she has yet to meet, specifically for Eurovision.

Pairing a pretty, lilting chorus with an anxiety-stricken rap verse, it’s strangely compelling.

This could be Australia’s final year in Eurovision – as the country’s participation agreement runs out after May.

For their last roll of the dice, they’ve gone with pop-metal quintet Voyager, who have been campaigning to represent their country since 2015.

Their song gives off unmistakable Duran Duran vibes, with an anthemic “woah-oh” chorus, and a wibbly guitar solo that sounds like the theme to Beverly Hills 90210 – which is either a blessing or a curse,…